How to Perform a Prostate Massage: Instructions, Benefits and Prostatic Fluid Release

This guide is based on my expertise as a certified pelvic health therapist, couples therapist and sex therapist. While AI-generated content often remains superficial, this guide offers measurable added value by combining medical practice, psychological background and further resources.
You can also learn more about related topics in a therapeutic blog and additional guides (at the end of this article).
In addition, beyond all information about the prostate, therapeutic prostate massage and erotic variations, I will also introduce therapeutic tools that make self-administered prostate massage ergonomically possible in the first place or significantly simplify massage performed by a partner or another person.

If you want to understand the purpose of prostate massage, it is worth first taking a closer look at the prostate itself and its function. You may have known the term for years without fully understanding what it actually refers to. There are many products on the market for prostate stimulation, most of them sex toys. However, a therapeutic prostate massage is something quite different – and that distinction is crucial. If you already know everything about the prostate and are only looking for suitable tools, you will find direct recommendations at the end of this guide.

Contents

Function of the Prostate

The prostate is a chestnut-sized organ located in the pelvis, below the bladder and directly on the pelvic floor. The urethra passes through it. Historically, it was referred to as the “prostate gland” because surgeons approached it through the perineum during certain procedures – placing it, in a sense, “in front of” the bladder. More important, however, is its function: the prostate is a gland that produces the fluid component of the ejaculate. Together with sperm from the testicles, this forms semen. Its position and function make it a central organ for pleasure, erections and continence; it is often referred to as the “male G-spot”. When the prostate becomes diseased, it affects not only the body (e.g. incontinence or erectile dysfunction) but often also mental wellbeing, self-confidence and relationships.

Common Prostate Conditions

Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia (BPH)

Benign prostatic hyperplasia (BPH) is a common age-related enlargement of the prostate. By the age of 60, around one in two men is affected; by the age of 80, almost all men are. Possible symptoms include a weak or interrupted urine stream, delayed initiation of urination and post-void dribbling. Frequent and sometimes urgent urination (strong, sudden and difficult to control), especially at night, as well as urge incontinence may also occur. Causes include hormonal and age-related changes. Factors such as family history, obesity, alcohol and nicotine consumption, diabetes and high blood pressure may contribute. Depending on the situation, treatment may involve medication, laser therapy, surgery or supportive physiotherapy.

Prostatitis

Prostatitis is an inflammation of the prostate caused by bacteria or viruses. Typical symptoms include pain in the lower abdomen or anal region. Semen may appear yellowish or contain traces of blood. Adhesions can make urination more difficult. Treatment includes antibiotics, physiotherapy and often gentle prostate massage. In some cases, a narrowed urethra is stretched under anaesthesia, although this is often not particularly sustainable because the tissue is structurally stressed. A gentler and more effective urethral dilation can also be performed independently using Theros® Bougie Dilators.

Prostate Cancer

Prostate cancer is the most common type of cancer in men. When detected early, it is usually highly treatable. In advanced stages with metastases, however, it can become life-threatening. Age, family history, diet and inflammatory processes may all play a role. For this reason, preventive screening from the age of 45 is extremely important. Treatments range from surgery and radiotherapy to hormone therapy. Possible side effects include temporary incontinence and permanent erectile dysfunction.

Effects of Prostate Massage

As a preventive measure against the problems described above, or as part of their treatment, regular prostate massage can support you on several levels:

Prevention and Treatment:
It may help relieve symptoms, for example in cases of inflammation, and may reduce the risk of certain prostate conditions. Studies report that men with more frequent ejaculation (around 20 times per month) develop prostate cancer significantly less often than men who ejaculate less frequently.

Circulation and the Pelvic Floor:
The massage promotes blood circulation in the pelvis and supports the function of the pelvic floor muscles. It may help release or reduce existing – and often unnoticed – hypertonicity (increased baseline muscle tone). Many men carry such internal tension due to stress or constantly “holding everything together” without even realising it.

Awareness of the Pelvic Floor:
You learn not only how to contract the muscles but, more importantly, how to relax them intentionally – a key requirement for continence, circulation and sexual sensation. Only through this balance does the reactive regulation of the pelvic floor muscles become possible again – the ability to adapt automatically to changing demands in daily life, such as lifting, carrying or jumping.

Pleasure and Orgasmic Capacity:
Prostate massage does not only provide local stimulation. It also affects the highly sensitive region around the perineum and anus, which is particularly rich in nerve endings. In addition, the prostate lies close to the sensitive root of the penis – an area that is often underestimated compared with the shaft.

Note: This form of internal touch activates not only physical sensations but also a softer, more receptive aspect of yourself. C. G. Jung described how every person carries both masculine and feminine qualities. This type of stimulation activates the feminine pole within you, which may have become neglected. Yet it is profoundly important, because not only the masculine but both poles are needed to allow energy – including the energy of your masculinity – to flow freely. This may also explain why erectile difficulties often seem to improve naturally afterwards.

The Emotional Level:
The pelvic region is more than anatomy. It is often where unconscious tensions reside: old wounds, performance pressure, patterns of control and perhaps even shame. A mindful internal massage may help release these layers.

Allowing yourself to be touched – emotionally as well as physically – represents a shift in perspective for many men. Instead of actively doing something, you learn to receive. Instead of controlling, you allow yourself to be guided. This is often where a process of integration begins: strength is combined with receptivity, presence with surrender.

When the pelvic floor is consciously included, emotions may emerge that often have little space in everyday life – emotional softness, vulnerability and perhaps even a new sense of humility towards yourself, other people and life in general. This is not a loss of masculinity but a transformation: your range of experience expands. Function becomes sensation. Control becomes trust. And isolated pleasure may evolve into a full-body experience.

How Does a Prostate Massage Work?

You can reach the prostate in two ways – externally (indirectly) and internally (directly):

Indirectly Through the Perineum: The perineum is the area between the scrotum and the anus. Circular movements, gentle pressure and light strokes can stimulate the prostate from the outside. This is ideal for beginners, helping your body prepare for direct massage and build trust in the sensations.

Directly Through the Anus: The prostate is located approximately 5–7 cm behind the anus on the front wall of the rectum (towards the abdomen). Using a suitable tool or a finger together with plenty of lubricant, you can gently locate and “treat” the gland. Always pay attention to your sensations: stop if anything feels uncomfortable and proceed in small steps.

Why Tools Are Helpful: Prostate massage is often tiring with the fingers alone because the wrist must be twisted into an unnatural position. This reduces precision and can also be mentally distracting. Smooth, gently shaped tools improve control, increase comfort and help protect the mucous membranes.

Prostate Milking and Prostate Orgasm

Prostate Milking

The term “prostate milking” may sound unusual, but it is actually quite descriptive. It refers to the deliberate release of prostatic fluid without orgasm. This may be performed for therapeutic reasons without any sexual context, or as a sexual practice, most commonly within BDSM settings.

During prostate milking, the prostate is stimulated more intensely than during a standard massage. The aim is to encourage the release of prostatic fluid, whether for conscious activation of the prostate, for health-related purposes or for erotic reasons.

This may result in a form of climax, although not necessarily a conventional orgasm in the usual sense involving ejaculation of sperm. Sometimes the body responds very calmly, while at other times the reaction can be surprisingly intense. This ejaculation of pure prostatic fluid may even occur without a noticeable erection.

For many men, this can feel particularly liberating: for once, the penis is not the focus. Instead, the body simply “does its own thing” without the man actively doing anything (or being allowed to do anything). This is one reason why prostate milking is often experienced as a pleasurable or exciting loss of control.

Prostate Orgasm

Intense prostate stimulation may lead to a special type of climax known as a prostate orgasm. There are three basic forms:

• A “dry orgasm” is a purely internal orgasm without ejaculation. This type of orgasm may occur through prostate stimulation without the release of prostatic fluid, as happens during prostate milking, and without ejaculation of sperm. Because no resources are lost – neither prostatic fluid nor sperm, as with a conventional orgasm – multiple orgasms may be possible. The typical recovery period is also often considerably shorter, similar to many female orgasms.
  Note: There are other techniques for learning to experience orgasm without ejaculation. These may also allow multiple orgasms and are sometimes described as producing an increase in energy rather than the drop in energy that often follows a conventional orgasm.
• The second form of prostate orgasm can be regarded as a variation of prostate milking – the difference being that an orgasm occurs while the prostatic fluid is being released.
• The third form involves the complete ejaculation of both prostatic fluid and semen – the familiar male orgasm, but triggered solely through massage and stimulation of the prostate.

These forms of prostate orgasm cannot be separated with complete precision. Mixed forms and partial orgasms involving varying amounts of prostatic fluid and/or semen are common. A “pure” prostate orgasm is triggered only through stimulation of the prostate, entirely without stimulation of the penis. Once the penis is stimulated, established patterns of sexual arousal often take over and the prostate largely recedes into the background as the trigger of orgasm.

These phenomena help explain why prostate massage and prostate milking – with or without orgasm and with or without ejaculation – play such a significant role within BDSM. The submissive person surrenders completely, while the dominant partner can work with the full spectrum of sensations and climactic experiences. This, however, requires considerable practice and sensitivity.

Men who have experienced a prostate orgasm often describe it as “mind-blowing” – deeper, longer-lasting and more widely distributed throughout the body than a conventional orgasm.

Why Is a Prostate Orgasm – or Even Prostate Treatment by Another Person – Experienced as So Intense?

The prostate itself is highly sensitive. In addition, the perineum and anal region contain a very high density of nerves, and the prostate lies close to the sensitive root of the penis. When this interaction is consciously perceived, pleasure can unfold in a different – often more comprehensive – way. Scientifically, not everything has yet been fully explored, but practical experience suggests that the more relaxed and curious you are about new sensations, the more intense the experience can become. Especially if rectal stimulation is new to you, the body needs time to adapt to these unfamiliar sensations before intense prostate orgasms can fully develop.

For beginners, access to the prostate is usually easiest through the rectum – using a finger (ideally in a finger cot with plenty of lubricant) or a suitable tool (see below). External stimulation through the perineum can be a useful addition, although it generally reaches the prostate less directly. Additional penile stimulation as well as variations in pressure, rhythm and intensity may further enhance perception.

The so-called “dry orgasm” simply means a climax without visible ejaculation. Some men deliberately practise separating orgasm from ejaculation, which is said to make multiple orgasms possible. Another reason is the feeling of having more energy afterwards.
It is important to distinguish this from medical conditions: if ejaculation is permanently absent or semen enters the bladder instead (retrograde ejaculation), different causes are involved, such as surgery, certain medications or neurological disorders. In such cases, medical evaluation is advisable.

Optimal Tools for Prostate Massage

If you want to perform a prostate massage yourself, doing so without a suitable tool is very difficult. The following tools are particularly well suited:

These two phenomena are discussed together because, although they are fundamentally different, they also share much in common. Not infrequently, they occur one after the other or as a combination of both.

Theros® ProstaSphere

As the name suggests, Theros® ProstaSphere was specifically developed for optimal prostate massage. ProstaSphere consists of a slim, ergonomically curved shaft and a permanently attached sphere that serves as a handle, allowing precise guidance. Massage spheres in different sizes can be attached to the opposite end.

Special Features:

• The slim shaft and mirror-polished surface allow intensive massage even over extended periods without overloading the anal sphincter or anal region through friction.
• Ergonomic design for optimal handling from the front or from behind.
• Anti-allergenic stainless steel for implants is 100% biocompatible, permanently highly hygienic and extremely sustainable.
• Several sphere sizes allow either precise point stimulation or broader stimulation.

Theros® FMS Dilators

You can prepare with FMS dilators (gently increasing the flexibility of the anus) and then use ProstaSphere for longer, more targeted massage sessions.

Performing a Prostate Massage

Preparation

Prostate massage is not something to do casually or in passing. What matters is not only the technique but also your state of mind and body. Take some time and create a quiet, warm space where you will not be disturbed. The less pressure you put on yourself to achieve a specific result, the easier it becomes for your body to respond. The goal is not to achieve something quickly, but to arrive – physically and emotionally.

Beforehand, you should cleanse the rectum with a brief rinse. A simple anal douche or enema syringe is sufficient. This takes only a few minutes and helps you feel cleaner, safer and more relaxed, allowing you to focus fully on the experience.

Then begin by gently massaging your thighs, abdomen and lower back without any specific goal. Take your time. Only when your breathing becomes deeper and your muscles noticeably softer should you gradually move towards the buttocks and pelvic region. The body is prepared not by pressure or intensity, but by warmth, calmness and repetition.

My Expert Tip for Beginners: Warmth works wonders here. Pelvic Steaming – the male counterpart to Yoni Steaming – can be an excellent preparation. The warm steam softens the tissues around the perineum and anus and makes it easier for the body to accept touch.

The Massage: Gentle and at Your Own Pace

Indirect Stimulation: Begin externally at the perineum (the area between the testicles and the anus). Use gentle circular movements, light pressure and take time to notice how your body responds.

Moving Inwards: For direct massage, use plenty of high-quality lubricant. First spend some time focusing on the anus and the external anal sphincter. This massage directly influences your overall level of relaxation, may evoke pleasurable sensations and helps you soften and let go. Only when you feel ready should you slowly insert a finger or your chosen tool and gently locate the prostate.

Variations: Begin gently and increase intensity only as long as it remains comfortable. Slow circular movements, light pressure and the classic “come here” motion have proven particularly effective. Experiment with different forms of touch: vary the circles and pressure in both intensity and speed, and add short rhythmic pulses.

Your Feelings Decide: Listen carefully to your body. The sensations may range from “unfamiliar” to deeply pleasurable. Many men describe their first experiences as “wonderfully unsettling” – an intense mixture of novelty and unfamiliarity.
Many women describe touch at the cervix in a similar way.
Be kind and patient with yourself. Taking breaks is not a failure but part of the process. You decide the pace and your own boundaries.

Exploring Together: Therapy Meets Eroticism

If your partner performs the massage, healing and eroticism can be beautifully combined. This reversal of roles and the act of surrendering control often opens the door to entirely new forms of pleasure. Orgasm does not need to be the goal – instead, a profound state of full-body relaxation is often achieved.

Additional Tools for Prostate Health

You can further support your prostate health through prostate stimulation in daily life, helping to maintain and stimulate prostate function. Particularly effective are Viball® Kegel balls for men made from implant-grade steel – discreet to use and designed for maximum effectiveness.

Special Features:

• Invisible during use in daily life or while exercising
• Available in six sizes from 36–60 mm
• Anti-allergenic, highly hygienic and sustainable
• May support erectile function – including during sexual intercourse
• Certified medical device

Massage and stimulation in daily life complement each other perfectly: you support circulation, muscular responsiveness and sexual wellbeing – contributing to greater vitality, wellbeing and quality of life.

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