Couples therapy

Please note: the therapy sessions are conducted exclusively in German

A relationship needs attention and care, just like physical health, fitness and also the psyche. We take preventative measures in every area, do something good for ourselves, but a regular check-up for a functioning relationship doesn't occur to many people - love (or habit?) will fix it... It could be. But it could also be not.

The potential for conflict is enormous, especially when partners also have to work together professionally or in business. A family with children also presents such a challenge, especially in a patchwork constellation. Supervision in a company does not only take place when nothing else works, but rather for optimization. The smallest cracks or friction losses should be discovered and eliminated in good time so that everything stays "in flow", your respective energies flow optimally together to create a synergy, for the best possible success and, above all, for shared happiness.

If a healthy relationship is just as important to you as your health, couples coaching in the form of regular, qualified checkups through supervision is exactly what you need. This is not an "alarm", but rather exciting, allows energy to flow again, brings fresh impulses and new strength - similar to sport or sauna, but only for your relationship.

Problems for which couples therapy is recommended

The creeping (advanced) relationship crisis

It is like a dark cloud that is getting thicker and thicker over your love, almost imperceptibly taking away more and more light until there is only darkness and you no longer recognize yourself. Unmistakable signs of this are:

Your relationship starts to bore you
You argue more and more often
You have nothing more to say to each other
You hide important things from each other
You just can't get any further with one or another topic

In the end, you are caught in a spider's web, unable to find your way out of the tangle of interwoven problems, especially since you see completely different things as the cause. Or even worse: one of you does not perceive any problem at all.

Couples therapy helps to clear the thicket, to loosen mental encrustations, to get some light and air again. A lot has accumulated and it can take some time to resolve it all. In any case, it brings new impulses and changed perspectives. Where the journey then leads remains to be seen.

Young married… and just as quickly divorced?

Especially for young couples, the idea of what love is is often the source of the problems. Being in love does not necessarily mean falling in love deeply. The honeymoon period is a hormonal alignment process: you intuitively expect the other person to have the same ideas and when this hormonal rush naturally wears off after a few months and everyday life with more and more tasks and challenges takes over, the other person's supposed deficits and mistakes become apparent. Arguments arise and disappointment acts like an accelerant. Couples therapy helps to sort things out and keep things simple, and sometimes a clear statement is needed as first aid. Thanks to my many years of work as a midwife, I am very familiar with dealing with couples in special situations.

Infidelity or the appearance of a lover

This devastating event suddenly threatens a relationship that may have lasted for many years: you are completely shocked, the world opens up, you think "this is the end!" That doesn't have to be the case. Have you really understood what exactly happened? Or are you trapped in your hurt, your anger? Couples therapy helps you to understand and classify what really happened, what developments led to it happening. Above all, it can help to either find common ground again or a basis for it, or at least not end in a bitter divorce that would drag both partners and their children down.

The Couple in Crisis

Nobody can claim that their love relationship is always heaven on earth. It includes phases of lightness, joy and carefreeness, which alternate with phases characterized by a lack of harmony and arguments or a lack of communication. As long as you show goodwill towards your partner and the will to continue on your journey together, anything is possible. Depending on the cause of the conflict, it often doesn't take much to get a seemingly stuck relationship back on track, even if thoughts of separation have already arisen. It is always worth working on the relationship, especially when children are involved.

Solutions in my couples therapy

Relationship check

If you are generally doing well as a couple, but would like to actively develop together, it makes sense to book a couples coaching session from time to time. At such an appointment, we can reflect on your partnership together. We examine the issues that keep coming up and develop new ways of dealing with them together. Perhaps you also need new impulses for certain areas in your partnership. Often it is sexuality that goes dormant over the years and could use a new kick.

couples therapy

It may also be that you have not noticed the signs of a crisis or that it is a very acute one, such as jealousy. The fronts harden, you are no longer able to treat each other with goodwill and respect. Communication is no longer possible, a separation seems inevitable. In this case, you should definitely get help. You need external help to develop a willingness to approach each other again and give the relationship another chance. It is then a matter of allowing processes within yourself and within the partnership, developing a new perspective, opening up and often forgiving. This can be a painful undertaking, but in any case you can gain something from it. Even if couples therapy ultimately leads to a separation, ideally by mutual agreement. A respectful, peaceful separation is an immensely challenging and very desirable achievement, which particularly benefits the children.

My therapy method

Due to my biography, my many years of professional activity and my numerous further training courses, I am able to draw on very different approaches to therapeutic work. No two couples are the same, so a very individual approach is always required. In a safe, protected space, every topic can come to light and is looked at without judgement. The willingness of both partners to do this together is important. The effectiveness of couples therapy arises from open, honest cooperation in conversation and also in practical exercises from the systemic therapy approach.

But first, in my form of couples therapy, I would like to give you some “first aid” to help you get out of the spiral of escalating emotions or of total isolation, so that the ground is prepared for further steps towards each other.

These steps will then be developed together at the following appointments. We will decide together how many sessions are needed.