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Lubricant
This guide is about lubricants: products with friction-reducing substances to facilitate penetration into body openings such as the anus, vagina or urethra. Alternative names are lubricant, moisturizing gel or lubricating cream. The term "lubricant" is also often used in industry, but the content of my guide naturally only refers to physical use.
In my long career as a midwife and therapist, as well as in my sexuality, I have been able to gain experience with different types and a wide variety of products. Although the basic ingredients (water, oil or silicone) have remained the same for decades, the range of products on offer has multiplied, including the additives.
There are therefore a large number of different products that differ in their ingredients, areas of application and other parameters - and in their quality.
In this guide, I would like to explain the different types of lubricants and their properties and differences. This will give you effective help in choosing which lubricant is right for you and your application.
Summary:
Why do I need a lubricant?
The use of lubricants at home usually refers to the sexual context: during penetration, both vaginal and rectal/anal, for masturbation, when using sex toys.
Lubricant is also required for other procedures that require the insertion of objects, e.g. the use of pelvic floor training aids, self-examination with a speculum, etc.
The use of lubricant is particularly important when objects are moved permanently in the vagina, anus or urethra, such as when using FMS dilators for self-treatment of dyspareunia such as vaginismus or lichen sclerosus , for hemorrhoids , anal fissures , or for prostate massage and practical birth preparation.
Vaginal use is particularly necessary for women who have little lubrication of their own, for example during breastfeeding, in (post- )menopause or for other reasons.
Unfortunately, I find that some women are embarrassed to admit to using lubricants, as if it would make them look inferior. The widespread idea that a sexually aroused woman is always wet and one who is not is simply not ready for sexual activity is not true: there are certainly women who generally have a wet vagina when they are not in the mood, but on the other hand women can be very sexually aroused (almost) without lubrication.
What different types of lubricants are there?
There are water-, silicone- and oil-based products. There are also flavored ones, those that warm and those that have a slightly numbing effect. They also differ in terms of their areas of application, whether they are designed for vaginal or rectal use.
Water-based lubricants : They are particularly well tolerated and skin-friendly. They are also easy to wash off and do not leave stains in the laundry. Important to know: they are compatible with condoms and sex toys made of silicone or
Silicone-based lubricants : They score points above all for their long-lasting gliding properties. They are compatible with latex condoms, but for condoms made of other materials, the manufacturer's instructions should be followed. They can occasionally cause skin irritations in people with sensitive skin or existing allergies. Both the skin and particularly affected laundry are more difficult to clean.
Oil-based lubricants : They play a minor role on the market. This is probably because they are not as universally applicable. Although they have a long-lasting effect, they can also irritate the skin and are difficult to remove from laundry. In addition, they are not compatible with latex.
Additional variants of lubricants
The range is huge. I'll give you an overview here:
- Lubricant for those wanting to have children : intended for couples who want to have children. In addition to their moisturizing properties, these products have an optimal composition to maintain or recreate healthy cervical mucus. They are sperm-friendly because they do not contain unnecessary additives such as parabens, silicones and glycerin (e.g. Pre-Seed , Conceive Plus or FertiliSafe ).
- Warming lubricant : These products contain a substance that stimulates blood circulation, often capsaicin (chili extract). The effect is supposed to be to intensify pleasure (eg Pjur MyGlide, Durex Play Warming, JO Warming Lubricant, KY Warming Jelly).
- numbing lubricant : These products contain either local anaesthetics or essential oils that have a cooling and therefore slightly numbing effect. They are suitable for enabling longer lasting penetration and are often used during anal sex. They can prolong the duration of an erection, but they should be used with caution to avoid them being used as a "solution" to pain during sex . Pain is always a warning sign and should be taken seriously. Examples: Pjur Med Pro-Long Spray, EROS Action Delay Gel, Durex Prolong, Anal Ease.
- with a cooling function : These products are mixed with essential oils that have a cooling effect, such as peppermint. This is said to trigger a tingling, stimulating feeling and is particularly popular during oral sex. Examples: Durex Play Tingle, Pjur Cool, JO Chill Cooling Lubricant, Sliquid Sizzle Cooling Lubricant.
- Lubricants with spermicide : These products are enriched with spermicidal ingredients. In my opinion, they are superfluous because they are not sufficient as a sole contraceptive and can also disrupt the vaginal flora and lead to increased infections in the genital area. Examples are: Gynol II, Conceptrol Gel, VCF Vaginal Contraceptive Gel . These products are available in pharmacies, and in some countries only on prescription.
- Vegan lubricants : They are aimed at people who want to get by without animal products. The aim here is less to have an additional sensory effect, but rather to reflect the user's philosophy of life. If you are interested in such products, you should look for certification, e.g. from Vegan Society , PETA Cruelty-Free or Leaping Bunny . Examples: YES WB , Pjur Woman Nude , BIOglide , Sliquid Silver .
- Organic lubricants : The same applies to these products as to vegan products. They primarily appeal to people who value having organic products on and in their bodies. In fact, in this case they are often particularly well tolerated and gentle. Examples: YES WB, BIOglide, Coconu Organic Oil-Based, Sliquid Organics Silk.
- Medical lubricants : These are those that serve a therapeutic purpose. They are used in a medical, clinical context during examinations and procedures and they serve people with special needs such as sensitive skin or vaginal dryness due to breastfeeding or menopause. Examples: KY Jelly , Pjur Med Sensitive Glide, Gleitgelen® Med and of course those that I have listed under "Lubricant for children's wishes²".
- Lubricant with perfume : These products contain fragrances, often fruity scents that are intended to increase sensuality. You have to be careful here, as they can cause skin irritation. Popular ones are: JO H2O Flavored Lubricants , Sliquid Swirl Strawberry Pomegranate, Wet Desserts Topping Lubricant, Pjur MyGlide .
- Flavored lubricants : The intended effect is the same as with scented lubricants: they are intended to give an extra kick. They are primarily intended for use during oral sex. The good side effect: they consist of edible, safe ingredients. I recommend looking for natural flavors and sugar-free, as this makes it taste better and sugar is always a breeding ground for bacteria. Examples here are: Kama Sutra Oil of Love, Intimate Earth Fresh Strawberries , System JO H2O Cool Mint, Pjur MyGlide.
Personal preferences and circumstances determine the selection here.
Applications of lubricants
In the home environment, lubricants are used for vaginal and rectal use.
Vaginal use : Here, particular attention should be paid to good tolerability. Ingredients such as fragrances and flavors, preservatives, and potential allergens should be avoided at all costs. In order to support the natural environment of the vaginal flora, it is advisable to pay attention to the pH value. When used vaginally, it should be slightly acidic, like the vagina itself (4.0 to 4.5). This reduces the risk of irritation, itching, and inflammation.
Rectal use : A long, intensive lubrication capacity is of particular advantage here. Oil-based lubricants cause irritation, especially in the anal area. The pH value should be neutral here, i.e. around 7.0.
If you are planning to use sex toys, you must of course consider the compatibility with the material, often silicone.
alternative for lubricant
It is possible that you don't like lubricant, want to save money, or have run out of it and are looking for a replacement in your household. There are numerous products in average households that could be considered.
In general, caution is advised here. There is a risk that these substances may irritate the skin of the vagina and anal area and they can serve as a breeding ground for fungi and bacteria.
I would like to discuss the most commonly used ones here.
The use of various cooking oils and fats such as rapeseed, sunflower, olive, massage and baby oil and coconut oil is particularly common as a lubricant substitute. Oils naturally have a different pH value than the mucous membranes. They can clog the pores and attack latex condoms, making them porous. The correct pH value protects against the penetration of pathogens. Every person has a certain amount of bacteria and Candida (yeast fungi) in the genital area. A disturbed pH value disrupts the balance of the flora and increases the risk of excessive growth of pathogens (see Fuchs, F. et al. (2017). "Impact of personal lubricants on the vaginal microbiota and mucosal integrity." Journal of Sexual Medicine, 14(7), 923–931). The result would be vaginosis, characterized by an intense fishy smell, genital fungus associated with itching, and other infections.
The same applies to the use of Vaseline as a lubricant. Here, too, the risk of infection is increased and Vaseline also attacks condoms and makes them unsafe.
And what about common household products like soap, shower gel, body lotion…?
This is definitely not recommended. They usually have a pH value that is tailored to the outer layer of skin. They also often contain additives such as perfumes and dyes.
What should I look for when choosing a lubricant?
In addition to your personal preferences regarding the features I listed above, I recommend considering the following aspects:
- Ingredients : Avoidance of potential allergens, perfumes and preservatives*. To be on the safe side, always test the product on a small, inconspicuous area of the body first, such as the neck behind the ear or the inside of the forearm. If a skin reaction occurs here, you know for sure that the sensitive genital area will definitely not tolerate this product.
- Application : What do you want to use it for?
- Compatibility with (latex) condoms and sex toys
- Dermatological test : Is it certified as a medical device?
- Test results from well-known, trustworthy, independent institutes such as Stiftung Warentest.
- consumer reviews
- Price
*Citric acid: Citric acid is found in many lubricants and many people think of it as just a preservative. It makes sense in lubricants because it serves several positive purposes. In addition to its undisputed ability to preserve through its antibacterial effect and the resulting longer shelf life, it stabilizes the pH value. I have already described the importance of the slightly acidic vaginal environment. It is moisturizing and its antioxidant effect ensures that the quality of the product remains consistent. In relation to our topic, this means that the desired consistency or viscosity is maintained. As always, it depends on the dose. Too much citric acid can cause skin irritation. I have already reported that I have tested many products myself and have also paid attention to this aspect.
Once you have made your decision, please consider the following issues when applying:
- How should my product be stored?
- How long does it last?
- Thoroughly clean the toys that have come into contact with the lubricant!
I can only advise you not to be too frugal when making your purchase decision. From experience, I can say that higher-priced products are usually of higher quality, are better tolerated and last longer. They are often dermatologically tested and certified as medical products.
The most important thing is of course that you are happy with your choice and that it meets all your requirements!
Further questions? Therapeutic help
Do you have any more questions? Email me personally at hsw@theros.de , I'll be happy to answer them. You can also get therapeutic support from me.
Hera Schulte Westenberg midwife and therapist
Further guides:
